The cycle of life is truly amazing

Hello darlings!


This morning, I had a brief conversation with my mother and on my ride to work - I started thinking (What else is new right?) It is AMAZING the way our relationships with our parents develop over the course of our lives...


Think about it...

As toddlers - we can't so much as bump into AIR and we are running to our parents "Mommy! Mommy"! Crying! I mean the world is coming to an end! Stop! Drop n Roll!!! LAWDY LAWWD TAKE ME NOW!!! (hahah I had to laugh at myself over that one lol) But its true! The world might as well stop spinning on its axis and Jesus himself might as well come down and take me with him... We got a boo-boo. You run to mommy and what does she do? Not a damn thing! She kisses is and says "All better"! And we actually believe all is well. We are smiling. The tears have dried. All is now well in the world. We may now continue breathing and jump right back into the activity that gave up the boo-boo in the first place - certain that should it happen again, mommy will be right there to heal the wound (Sound familiar in your adult life? Hmmm check yourself boo). Kindergarden - we cant WAIT to come home and tell mommy all about our day, show her the painting we made, sing her the song we learned today. "Mommy, I am helper of the week"! Our proudest moments, all shared with mommy.

As teenagers - we hide as much as we possibly can from our parents! "How was school hunnie"? "Fine". Meanwhile; we are flunking algebra, the teacher yelled at us, we missed the bus, lost our keys, our boyfriend dumped us -- for our best friend, we got cut from the team and to top it off we have this MAJOR pain in our leg that we are not quite sure what it is but it is delibitating and you are not positive but you are almost certain that you just saw Jesus himself on the bus - and yet with all of that our response to the most important question of the day is "Fine". This is where I believe that most young adults fall into the category that I like to call "Misplaced trust". This is when we start putting more (and usually ALL) of our trust into our friends, media, our environment. Everyone and everything that will not mind steering us into the PIT of hell - with no remorse. These people could care less if we live or die, eat or starve, succeed or fail - and yet, this is what we place all of our energy, time, devotion, trust and loyalty into. We spend many years trying to become our parents enemies (and many of us succeed at this). "Mom dont know shit"! "I wish she would just MIND HER DAMN BUSINESS"!! "Does she need to come to EVERY parent-teacher conference"? YEARS! I am guilty of this as well. Probably more than I care to admit. I hid EVERYTHING from my mother ... Maaaannnnnn I didnt even want her to know if I was right handed or left. Every answer was a shrug or a grunt. I just wanted to be left alone to "Make my own decisions" because I was "grown". All of her questions received the most minimal response from me. The least amount of words I could use - the better. I placed my trust, love and loyalty into ALL the wrong things - "friends", boys, being "cool", alcohol, drugs, sexual experimentation etc etc. Don't take me wrong - I don't think I was a horrible kid, but I def could have done better. My mom would tell me "Don't you hang out with that girl" "I won't mom! Sheesh!" - and what do we do? Hang out with that girl ofcourse! Only to later realize that girl stole from you, stabbed you in the back, threw you under the bus and made you cry. Mommy saw things we couldn't see for ourselves, and we were just too stupid to realize and appreciate it. I now realize that my mom wasnt trying to "kill my fun" - she simply did not want me to go through the pains she KNEW I was going to go through should I continue down that given road. Man, we are stupid at that age smh (Sorry, random thought just thrown in there) Anyhoo - for the most part, that is how it goes down.

As adults - we can't make a single damn decision without consulting mom! "Mom! Red or Blue!?!? Up or Down?? Left or Right?? What do you think of him?? Should I take that job?? WHAT SHOULD I DO WOMAN?!?!?" I mean NOTHING gets done without moms stamp of approval. This is the age where we begin to "Come back home" so to speak. We have experience the pain and the hurt of the real world. The highs and the lows - and for many of us the only true constant has been our parents. My, how things change. It just goes to show how truly unconditional the love of a mother truly is. After all that shit you put her through during your pubescent years - she is still there for you. Rooting for you. Feeling your pains. Basking in your joys. Helping you up when you fall down. And keeping your feet on the ground when you are feeling yourself a lil too much. Making you chicken soup when you're not feeling too well. There to answer your call when you call and ask for that steak recipe. Giving you that extra push when you are feeling lazy and buying you vitamins when you are pushing yourself too hard. Always ready with a listening ear or a smart come back. The only one who truly keeps your secrets. Point is - when she should have given up on your ass, when you seemed like a lost cause, when everyone else gave you thier back - she didnt and she is still there to this day, giving you the shirt off her back if needed. Damn. Are you going through the emotional highs n lows with me right now? Because - I'm damn sure going through it smh. I was talking to my mom this morning and telling her of another love lost. Another one. She looked me in the eyes and said "Baby, que se va ser? (What can be done?) You are beautiful and your time will come. He's going to regret his decision." She said a prayer for me. Told me to be strong, trust God and the plan he has for me - believe that it is a great one and then proceeded to ask me if I wanted breakfast lol. Man, I love that woman. In that brief exchange - I was reminded that I am my mother's daughter and I have strength unmatched to none. I truly am stronger than I think. Who would have thought that the same young girl who hid EVERYTHING from her mother would now be sharing stories of life, love and sorrows? I remember watching tv in the living room a few years ago - simple enough right? My mom walks in from a long day or work, I know she's tired and she would much rather go straight to bed but before speaking any words at all she asks "Que te pasa? (Whats wrong with you?)" and I looked at her and proceeded to cry like a baby!!! She sat next to me for hours and I curled up next to her and laid my head on her lap and bared my soul. I had never felt so good before in my life. Im not quite sure if as teenagers we are afraid our mothers are going to judge us and that is why we decide to not share with them - but as an adult, you realize that your mother is not there to judge you but rather guide you. My mother has NEVER told me "You are making a bad decision". She has always let me spread my own wings, pick my own path and sink or swim. But whatever the result, she has always been there along the way - and meeting me at the finish line.

Do you get where I'm coming from?
How amazing it is to realize how the cylce of life takes you all around the world only to bring you right back to where you started, but this time in a better mind frame - you are now smarter, wiser, older and recognize wrong from right in a more mature manner. I am starting to see this more and more in our daily lives. We sometimes leave a good situation (romantic or not) for various reasons: you believe there is better our there, stubborn, infidelity, monetary reasons etc etc, and I am now finding that life (in its own quirky way) brings you right back to where you started. It is almost as if it wants you to right an old wrong. Not many people get this second chance folks, so if it presents itself to you, TAKE IT! Swallow your pride, admit you were wrong, ask for forgiveness, right that wrong and move on with life. Take it from me - I dont think there is a much better feeling in this world. Pride will have you sleeping in bed alone (or with the wrong persons) with a million "Shoulda woula coulda's" running through your mind. That is no way to live. Embrace your mistakes - they are the very essence of YOU!

If you are fortunate enough to still have your mother around - kiss her.
Count your blessings.
Praise God EVERY DAY that she is still in your life and remind her that without her you would be nothing. Let her know that you strive to one day be half the woman she is. Buy her flowers. Treat her to dinner. Your mother is remarkable and you tell her I said so.
If your relationship with her is estranged... Seek her - Hold her and cry with her. Break down those barriers that are holding you back from being happy together. You ony have ONE mother in this world. There are no do-overs. When she is gone, she is gone and I pray to God that you realize that before it is too late.

I gave my mother HEADACHES boy! I couldn't even BEGIN to explain how many.. But she never gave up on me. Even when I had already given up on myself. I would not trade that for the world.

My mom rocks - and yours does too <3

Be blessed & Be a blessing folks

-Roxii <3






Art by Frank Morrison