Why hello there darlings! Thanks a mil for stopping by =)
So, just a few days ago, I was having dinner with a really good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless to protect his ignorance *ahem*). Anyhoo - a little background on this friend of mine:
*Single (As in, not tied down - DEF dating)
*No children (As in, no children lol)
*College Grad (Currently in Grad School - go boo!)
*Attractive (Tall, dark n handsome type)
*Great job (Banking Industry)
*Lives alone (Self Explanatory)
*Nice car (Won't go there)
*Treats his momma well (IDK about you - but this is a VERY important detail to me - ladies take note on how he treats his momma - it will tell you volumes more than what we could EVER speak with words. Trust.)
*Grew up on the block (In other words - nothing fancy, no silver spoon in his mouth)
So we are in our fave Thai spot - and somewhere in the conversation the topic of his many sexual adventures come up (SMH).
Then ... The sentence that damn near brought the restaurant down...
"Well, if anything, I'll just tell her to go get a morning after pill and I wanna be there to make sure she takes it"
WHHHAAATTTTT???!!!!!!
Ooo no baby boy - we gotta talk about this.... And here is my take on this:
First and foremost let me state that I am 100% AGAINST the morning after pill. The fact that you can be 17 years young, no parental consent, no medical prescription necessary to obtain this pill is disgusting to me. What message are we sending these kids?! That having unprotected sex is OK because at the end of the day - there is always a pill you could take to prevent pregnancies? Ummm ok. Well, how about AIDS? HIV? Herpes? Or one of the other 50+ STDS lurking out there???! Let me tell you something, if you feed kids a message - guess what, they will receive it! And I don't care how many grown women are featured in the PLAN B commercial - that shit was created, developed and marketed toward the youth - I would love for someone to prove me wrong. All of the advertising's for these pills are where? TV, Subways, Bus Stops (SCHOOL Bus Stops at that) High School HEALTH CLASSES??? (Uhh yea, I saw it there), Planned Parenthood, Pharmacies ALL emphasizing the fact that neither parental consent or medical prescription are not necessary smh. Who spends most of their time in these places? Grown women or young adults? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say --> Young adults. Who would NOT need parental consent? Or be less likely to make a doctors visit concerning a pregnancy? Again, I will go with young adults. Need I continue??
*Just a lil FYI*
10 years ago -Yes, TEN years ago - there was an infected rate of 340 MILLION people with a CURABLE STD worldwide. Curable meaning, it could be treated with antibiotics and the effects would be minimal. Of these 340 million - a mere 108 million were adults. Getting the picture yet?? This means that 232 young people (Under the age of 21) have been infected with some sort of STD worldwide. Sad.
*A little more FYI*
PLAN B effects
*Irregular menstruation
*Abdominal pains
*Infertility
*Breast Disorders
*Nervous System Disorders
*Cysts
*Gastrointestinal Disorders
*DID I MENTION INFERTILITY???
*Reproductive Disorders
*Ectopic pregnancies
*Miscarriages
And the list goes on... Obviously many of these things are with continuous use but some are with ONE use. Also, keep in mind this pill is fairly new - and therefore long term effects will not be available for quiet a number of years to come. But think about it, if they are able to tell you THIS many side effects from a pill that is still considered a "baby" in the medical world - can you just IMAGINE the types of confirmed effects they will have in the future? SMH
SO THERE IS YOUR LITTLE MEDICAL HISTORY (I told you - Pull Up A Seat baby... we finna learn in here! hahahah)
Now, Just in case you forgot - this is the sentence we are focusing on "Well, if anything, I'll just tell her to go get a morning after pill and I wanna be there to make sure she takes it" - so now, back to my rant:
I didn't even know where to BEGIN explaining why this sentence was so wrong. Couldn't even begin to let you know on how many levels this sentence turned my stomach.
First off, YOU ARE AN ADULT, you have a brain, you know right from wrong, up from down, left from right. You posses logic and intelligence - if all else fails you have a damn computer! GOOGLE IT! If you are "grown" enough to engage in sexual activities, then you have enough brain power to asses and understand the risks that come with said activities. In the same sense, you should be wise enough to know the ways to PROTECT yourself when you make the choice to engage in sexual activities. I don't buy that, heat of the moment crap! You know damn well what you are doing when you are doing it. You know the risks. And if 30 seconds of him reaching over to strap on a condom will "Kill the mood" - then guess what? He aint doing something right honey. I'm just saying. I just cannot wrap my brain around it! You would much rather introduce all of these unknown chemicals WITH KNOWN sideffects into your (your woman's) body as opposed to putting on a thin layer of latex in which the BOTH of you can/will benefit from. Really? And that makes sense to you huh?? 0_o
Ladies, Gentlemen - Plan B is NOT a form of contraception. You can't pop the pills like they are candy - and if you are, I would honestly suggest taking a moment to examine yourself, your life and your values - cuz something aint right.
Ladies, if your man tells you "Its ok, if anything you can just get a morning after pill tomorrow" LEAVE HIS ASS! He does not value you as a woman, a friend, partner or PERSON! He is not concerned with your well being at all. His only concern is not giving you any babies - and why be with someone who would not be ecstatic to have you birth his children?? Even more, he does not respect himself. If his "physical pleasure" is more important than protecting his "physical health" there is a problem - and guess what You aint the only one! LEAVE HIS ASS!! Let me say that again - LADIES! LEAVE HIS ASS! *stomps feet for emphasis* That is a toxic relationship that will NEVER end well. You cannot live and grow with a man who is WILLING to rob you of the very essence that makes you a woman. Nope. No sir. Not happening. As we say in spanish "Ese es poco hombre"! And not worthy of your time, love and most definitely not worth of your most intimate and vulnerable moments. Close up shop and chuck up the dueces.
Gentlemen, I will say the same for you - If your woman tells you "Its ok, I'll just get a morning after pill tomorrow" LEAVE HER ASS!!!! I know many of you instantaneously begin to think "SCORE"! But no. I'm gonna need you to put on your big boy pants and think this through with me - Do you really think this is her first time? SHE suggested it. SHE thought it up. SHE thought it ok to share this information with you. SHE has done this before. SHE is not the kind of girl you want to bring home to momma. Trust me. Any woman willing to introduce foreign bodies into her body for the sake of avoiding a pregnancy is not valued enough to be given the title "Woman". You want someone that is responsible (right along side you) enough to know "You know what, this is not the time - Im not ready, You're not ready - Let's wrap it up". You do not need something (pregnancy or disease) tying the two of you together for eternity and you barely even know/like eachother.
I say all of this to say the following:
Ladies, gentlemen - Boys, girls
I could care less WHO you lay down with. I could care less how often you drop your pants. I could care less if you wanna strip butt naked with your partner and do it all up n down Saint Patricks Church. LIVE IT UP! - what I DO care about is you wrapping it up. Being responsible. Taking control of your life and your body. Having a say-so in your future. Allowing yourself a life that you PLAN not one that is THROWN UPON YOU due to "Circumstances". I do care about you getting tested. I do care about you being safe. Those are the things I care about. And I care about a man imposing "solutions" upon a woman that would be hazardous to her health - without doing the proper research. As they say: a few moments of pleasure, a lifetime of pain.
Do not feed me shit on a platter if you're not willing to take the first bite - and that's all I gotta say.
Hope you enjoyed reading my first blog as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Be Blessed & Be a Blessing
-Roxii <3
Very well thought out and well written topic. Kudos for that first and foremost.
ReplyDeleteSecondly I'd like to go on record that I agree with most if not all the things that you said. However this is a topic that as we know can go very much further in depth. I know you said something along the lines of you don't buy "The Heat of the moment" crap, and I agree, but I'd be lying to you if I said that I myself have been in that position where I was already doing the due and figured "Fuck it, we'll deal with this when we're done." Yes it was wrong, and it was dealt with, and it was also the last time I did it. But like I said, great post! Can't wait to come back for more.